My Testimony

I was raised as a Mormon from the beginning. I went to church at a young age because I felt a drawing, but it was a sporadic attendance at best. My parents were divorced when I was 8 and my mother moved in with a friend for 2 years. During this time I was sexually abused by a neighbor . It wasn't by force for he did it under the guise of teaching me how to be with girls. I also discovered pornography during this time. My father had a serious heart condition and had 7 major surgeries before he died when I was 10.

My mother then married a man that abused me. It has been a long road to forgiveness but I have forgiven him, but will never forget. He used mental and sometimes physical abuse. He did terrible things to us (I have a brother and a sister) growing up. I think I can sum it up in one story. All three of us kids had developed a bed wetting problem after our father died. 6 years of doctors and threats and grounding (after school), but nothing helped. One night he put sheets on us as diapers and humiliated us and threatened to tell our school friends. I can't tell you how bad it was, I know others had a worse time growing up, but this happened to me. I hated that man for years until I found Jesus, then several years of praying to forgive him in my heart. I still have trouble at times but God is still working on me.

So as I was saying, I attended the Mormon church and was baptized at 13. I made it in the priesthood all the way to Teacher. At the age of 17 I found other things more important and it took me away from the church, I started missing services and was convinced it was a waste of time. I was lost for 4 years, seeking, but not accepting anything as a truth until I worked as a live-in aide to a guy bound in a wheelchair. His mother came to stay with us for a while and she was Mormon. She preceded to teach me that the Mormon church believed in, what I now know as, New Age ideas. Auras and Astro Travel and the like. I followed her instructions and I tell you now, Satan IS the great Deceiver. I tried it and what I experienced was backed up by others as to be true.

So I had found a Philosophy that I could believe in. I used it sparingly until one night as I was in bed. I wanted so much to see my father and was told I could do so by Astro travel. I was relaxing as I was told to, so that I could begin my journey, I felt my spirit starting to leave my body and float. I immediately felt that this was wrong and I stopped. I have never tried again and now know that Satan will stop at nothing to deceive. So there I was with nothing to believe in again. I was living at home with my mother and no job, this was the lowest point in my life . Or so I believed. I was given some books and some of them were by an author Eric Von Danken (?). I read these and they were very convincing. I again had found something to believe in. God was now a spaceman.

And I left it at that for quite a few years. This also allowed me to believe that my actions had no consequences. I was free to do what I wanted, when I wanted. I drank until one night I almost died throwing up after I had passed out. I dated married women and some even left their husbands, but not for me I soon found out. I used pornography constantly, but I thought I was living a good life. I haven't killed anybody. I haven't hurt anybody. I was working and supporting myself. I had it made. So I thought. I married when I turned 25, more from goals I had set earlier in my life than on a loving relationship. I guess now that is why it lasted only 3 days before she asked me to leave.

Then as I was dating a married woman, I answered an ad in the paper in the personal column. I met her and soon we moved in together. It didn't work out so I moved out and left her. About 8 months later she called up and told me that she had made a terrible mistake by letting me go and that she had always loved me. I fell for that line all the way. She and I dated for a little while and then were married.

To make a long story short plus the fact that I regret to admit it, she turned out to be a lesbian and married me to please her parents. She was seeking therapy but nothing was working out. She slept in the same bed with me, but fully clothed. She wrote letters to former girl friends, but the last straw was when she bought home baby stuff for when we started a family. I knew that day would never come, but I wanted a family so bad at that time. I broke and ran. I recovered so I thought and was dating again. I was over at a friends house when I met my future wife. She would come outside with me and visit while I would smoke a cigarette. I don't know how the subject came up, but soon she was witnessing to me and talking about church, religion and my need for God.

We would sit and talk for hours at a time. We dated for about a year and then we started talking about getting married. By this time we knew each other pretty well and she knew there were things in my life that needed taken care of if we were to have a future together. I knew that I needed God in my life if I was going to heaven. One day as we were driving back from seeing her parents, we talked about my past life and our future shared life together. I had made my choice, God had to be the center of my life. I stopped the car and she helped me through the Sinner's Prayer right beside the freeway.

Since coming to the Lord, He has led us to many churches and locations in our relationship. I have even had a spell where I was away from church and fellowship where I deepened my personal relationship with him. Even through I didn't know it at the time. LOL. I have chosen recently to let the past die a horrible death and to rely on the Lord for my future. Praise God, Son and Holy Ghost for that!

Thank you for listening to this sad tale of mine that led to a Bright future. Success is in the eye of the beholder and in God's eyes I am as white as snow.